Cebusy Day/s

I am now in an internet café in Cebu, the Queen City of the South. Actually I’ve seen some queens strutting their stuff here, but there are a lot more Chinese and Koreans here. Ooh, chinky-eyed fest for me!

We’re all in Ayala Mall, my mom, my aunt, my sister and brother. We kids are loving it here; I think we’re secretly whispering to ourselves, “There’s no place like home! There’s no place like home!” I don’t care if it makes us seem like mall rats; I’ll gladly wear that tag.

We arrived here yesterday via ferry and we’ve done the tourist-y things: seen Magellan’s Cross, the Taoist Temple up in Beverley Hills (where the swankiest houses are; methinks if one wants to kill off Cebu’s elite, just drop a bomb in the middle of that village), the Cathedral, Fort San Something (it’s near the pier and smaller than Fort Santiago), and of course the Lapu-Lapu shrine. There’s a huge statue of Lapu-Lapu in Pampers. At least they look like Pampers. Boy, I’m just dying to upload my pics! I’ve been shooting left and right; I’ve already filled up one memory card.

I also met up with Guile, the guitarist and songwriter of the indie group Squirrel Talk. He’s just recently been hired as copywriter for a local ad agency. He claims he’s never been to half of the places we visited yesterday. I told him we’re the tourists we’re supposed to do that. Guile is shorter than I imagined him to be, based on the pictures I’ve seen in their official website. He’ll fit right at home in Los Banos, hehehe. I guess his body’s well-proportioned, which is why he looks tall.

In a few hours we’ll be going back to Bohol. I doubt if I can find any “action” here in Cebu at such limited time, but what a challenge, eh? Hihihihi!

Meanwhile I take my previous statement back: there are some cute guys in Bohol. They’re just few and far in between. Worse, there are no cute guys in Bilar. That explains why I rarely get picked up at a bar. I’ll just blame my single-blessedness on provincial genetics.

Bucolic Bohol

So here I am in my favorite internet café in Tagbilaran, Bohol—the Millennium Café. Everyone else is in Island Mall, the newest and biggest mall in the island. They’re watching Panaghoy sa Suba, the Cesar Montano movie which was shot in Loboc, Bohol. Obviously, it is making a killing at the box-office here; love your own, ika nga. No one is watching Mano Po 3 or Lastikman. I decided not to join them because: [1] looking at the provincial crowd, I could imagine them being noisy while watching the film, and I hate that; [2] I wanted the time to surf and blog; [3] heck, I really wanted to watch So Happy Together but not only is it not showing here yet, it’ll raise eyebrows: “Why do you want to watch that movie?” So dedma na.

I’ve been taking pictures left and right; I’ll just post them (with matching commentaries) when I come back. I just love this province. Our house (my mom’s) is in Bilar, which is 42 kms from the capital. It takes us a little over an hour to go there, though now the trip is a little slower because of the construction going on at the coastal road—they’re finally cementing that side of the island. When they’re finished the drive around the whole island will be smooth, hassle-free.

Bilar, our town, is in the middle of the island; it’s also the town with the highest elevation so there’s no danger of tsunamis hitting us anytime soon. There are also no loggers around so there’s no danger of mudslides happening ever. It’s very peaceful; during the day you can hear the wind brush gently on top of bamboo trees. You can neighbors conversing as they pass outside the house; it’s that peaceful and quite. I love it! (Of course, I love it only for, oh, maybe a week or two of that. Longer than that, I’d start itching for the noise and mayhem of Manila!)

So I’m taking this time to catch up on my reading, sleep, eat, relax, relax and relax even more. And drive around the island; my tito generously lent us his L-300 for us to use, so I’m the designated driver. Have wheels, will drive around, hehehe!

Which is why I was able to sneak out and go to this internet café. The movie will be over in a bit, so I have to be moving along. I still want to buy film. Plus the Odyssey in Island Mall is selling new CDs at Php450 instead of Php475 in Manila!

So have a great in-between Christmas and New Year, folks! Enjoy.

Later, dudes and dudettes!

P.S. Walang guwapong Boholanons... I think Cesar Montano is a fluke. Or a product of uber-recessive genes. Whatever. I think this will be tigang time for me. Sigh.

The Day After

Christmas 2004 came and went. I got the usual gifts-I-don’t-really-need-every-year (my sister gave me a surfer’s shirt—I don’t even swim! And my brother and his wife gave me a cross I could hang on my wall—Jeez! Literally!) But my brother flipped when he got the DVD of Godspell which I got for him, and my nephew and niece loved the Lego stuff I got them.

I did nothing but eat, eat, and then repeat. Our maid does the meanest barbeque ever, and I lost count of how many sticks I demolished. And after lunch I was still munching on silvanas, popcorn, sans rival, more barbeque, Majestic ham (mmmmm!) and spaghetti with pesto sauce. That is why I went to the gym today, because by tomorrow we’ll be flying off to Bohol and I won’t be able to exercise again until after we come back on Jan. 10.

Oh, and yesterday after lunch we all watched the special extended DVD edition of The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, which had 50+ minutes added to it. The extras are so extensive, it’ll take another three hours to go through them. Next time na lang. (But I was able to find the two hilarious easter eggs in the discs. One had a fake interview with Elijah Wood, another was the MTV Movie Awards skit with Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn and Peter Jackson.)

To all of you with dysfunctional families (or feeling ninyo dysfunctional pero sa totoo lang hindi naman talaga), I hope your Christmas day—which is really for the family—was a peaceful, joyful one. Kahit minsan man lang sa isang taon.

While I’m in Bohol and Cebu I’ll try to keep up The McVie Show via internet cafes. And since I bought Nik a bigger memory card (he came with a 128, and I bought him a 256 for the trip), more pictures will be posted—after I get back, of course.

I doubt if I’ll be having sex throughout the trip, since I’ll be with my mom, brother and sister. But hey, you’ll never know, hehehe.

Happy New Year, folks!

Pas Ko!

Christmas is just a breath away. I’m still not done with my Christmas shopping, but I’m not panicking. Yet. I already have an idea what to get those who still don’t have gifts. The Body Shop is my one-stop last resort, hehehe.

Meanwhile I’m excited for Christmas. As a kid I looked forward to the gifts I’ll receive. Nowadays I’m more excited to see how the others will react to the gifts I’m giving them. For several years already I’ve always gotten gifts I’m not particularly fond of—shirts (always not the style I’d prefer to wear), wallets (functional, but not immediately useful since I’ve already have one), CD cases (useful, but quite impersonal), car accessories (now this is more like it, but it depends on the accessory), and handkerchiefs (wow.) So I’ve learned not to expect much when it comes to receiving gifts.

What I really look forward to is the Christmas lunch we have as a family. That’s when my brother and his wife bring the kids over, and my sister brings her husband, who then pretends to have a really good time when actually he’s just enjoying the food, not really the company. Whatever. That’s his problem, not ours. I’ve bought a bottle of champagne for us to drink during our family get-together. Hubug-hubog, we’d call it.

Christmas is really for the family, and that’s why I’m looking forward to Saturday. Then we’re off to Bohol and Cebu—me, my mom, my younger brother and sister. Because finances are tight, not everyone will be able to join us. But that’s okay. I’m more interested in bringing my mom back to her hometown. Maybe this’ll help keep her preoccupied. I hope her blood pressure remains stable throughout the trip. I hope this trip will do her good.

So despite the FPJ supporters and deposed President Erap threatening to make trouble, despite the back-to-back sad/bad news we’ve been getting, despite my ever-dwindling finances, I’m looking forward to the holiday break.

To my dear viewers of The McVie Show: if home is where the heart is, then you’re at home with me this holiday season. A relaxed, peaceful Christmas and a joyful New Year to you all!

Two Funerals And A Contrast

Watching the news, I found it fascinating the contrast between two deaths, two funerals.

FPJ died of a stroke, of a natural cause. The stress of age on one’s health took his life. Some want people to believe he died of a broken heart because he was cheated out of victory in the last elections, but these people obviously have a political agenda to push. FPJ ran but didn’t make it to the highest government position in the land.

KC de Venecia died in a fire that razed their home. She was only 16 years old when her life was taken by an unfortunate accident. She is the youngest daughter of Speaker Jose de Venecia.

In FPJ’s wake and subsequent funeral, hordes and hordes of ordinary folk lined up to catch a glimpse of the King of Philippine Showbiz. Not surprisingly, some of his showbiz friends (some, like Erap, also in politics) kept politicizing his death. They were obviously pushing their own agenda. The funeral mass at times sounded like a miting de abanse.

Meanwhile, KC’s funeral was attended by Pres. GMA (who was barred by rabid FPJ supporters from visiting his wake). The attendees were mostly family and friends. The mood was solemn, a celebration of life. Those who attended were asked to come in white and pastel.

It was very glaring, the huge divide between the two—the masses and the elite.

‘Wag Buhayin Ang Bangkay

That 80s movie starred Jestoni Alarcon as the titular corpse. Now in 2004 they’re forcing a remake of it, with FPJ in the starring role.

Kadiri talaga yung ginagawa nila kay FPJ. His death is a stroke—pardon the pun—of bad luck for the opposition, but they’re hell-bent on turning it into an opportunity. When he was alive, they used him in the last elections—and lost. Now that he’s dead, they’re still using him to try to grab power.

Puwede ba?! He really is a mere actor. And actors are some of the most out-of-touch-with-reality persons on the face of this earth.

He was a make-believe hero. Get real. And get over his death.

What A Weekend

SATURDAY

After lunch I was supposed to go to Ipe’s to have a haircut in time for the TA party in the evening. By 12:45pm I was still in White Plains area, traffic was horrendous, and I could see hours and hours of idling. OA kung OA! So after a quick call to Ipe, I had my haircut rescheduled to Sunday instead. Then I turned around and stopped at Gateway Mall in Cubao.

Window-shopped a bit, well, there aren’t enough shops opened yet really. So it’s really more windows than shopping at Gateway—for now. In Odyssey I bought my nephew a DVD of the second Bionicle movie (he’s nuts about anything Lego.) Then I went to Taco Bell for merienda. I tried their soft taco with chicken filling. Hmmm. Nothing great; in fact, it was a let-down. Maybe I should just try their regular tacos.

Went home and prepared for the TA party in which I’ll be the DJ. For years (especially in the 90s) whenever there’s a TA party they always ask me to provide the music. So I have an idea what songs the kids of TA dance to. But it has been several years since I last DJ-ed, and I’ve not been in touch with the current members, so I’m slightly worried. I brought out my maleta and started stuffing it with CDs both recent and old. I also brought along 5 other CD containers. Must-have tunes in a TA party include: Pizzicato 5’s “Sweet Soul Revue”, Los Del Rio’s “Macarena”, Chumbawumba’s “Tubthumpin’”, any fast Spice Girls, Britney Spears, and Destiny’s Child/Beyonce tune. After that, I’m gonna wing it. Oh gosh, the stress!

So I head for the party venue, which is in Steven’s house in Dapitan Street, QC. That’s three blocks away from Sto. Domingo. When I got to Dapitan St., I saw a shocking sight—a long queue of people snaking around the block and occupying one half of the street! These were the people lining up to bid Da King farewell. Grabe, na-stress ako bigla nung nakita ko yun! What if they turn unruly and storm the gates of Steven’s house? And where will I park Orlando? Before whenever we partied at Steven’s we’d park outside—the streets are fairly safe. But with a mob outside the gates, who knows what damage the poor can do to poor Orly?

I tentatively parked just outside the gate, and went to ring the bell. When I looked back at Orly, I saw two women sneaking behind the car, between it and the wall. Praning bigla ang lola; I approached them. Turned out they were just looking for a place to pee! I just asked them nicely, “Puwede ho, wag lang po sa kotse ko.” “Ay hindi po!” they assured me.

Then the gate opened; Steven welcomed me and said, “Hey, just park inside!” So without waiting for the two women to finish peeing, I started the engine. I could see them hurrying up and pulling up their panties. Luckily they stood up just as I backed up the car. I heard one of them go, “Ay salamat nakaraos din!”

Inside the walled front lawn of Steven’s lot, we were all getting stressed out with the crowd outside. As guests trickled in one by one, we were thankful they got through. Then we noticed two 40-something Chinese guys peering into our party set-up. Teka, hindi ko sila kilala, ha. At first I thought maybe they were Steven’s relatives. Or maybe they’re really old alumni whom I’ve never met before. I saw Steven approach them; after a short exchange, the two guys smiled and left. Turned out they were going to FPJ’s wake and mistook Steven’s driveway as a safe parking area!

Party time: despite my being rusty as a DJ, I managed to pull it off with only 4 or 5 flubs and miscues. Looking at the pictures people took that night, the party was a success. People went wild, got drunk, danced lasciviously, and flirted the nearest moving object. I of course missed all of that; the only consolation I have is that without my music people won’t have an excuse to go wild.

God is a DJ, and that night I was a god. *(more TARUGO pics in The McView Point)

Sometime during the thick of the party I received two text messages, one from Phillip, and the other from an officemate. Both were asking if I was in Bed that night. Part of me wished I was; part of me was just enjoying the DJ-ing. Times like these, I wish I had a clone!

SUNDAY

By 3:30am I was playing house music at the party, the kind of music you hear in Bed (“Shiny Disco Balls,” “Satisfaction,” and the like.)

By 5:15am only three people were still standing and swaying to the music; two were seated, drinking the last few remaining bottles of beer. I decided to play Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody.” That got the five singing along out loud.

By 5:45am I was packing my CDs into the suitcase and putting them in Orlando. The last song I played was a mega-mix of Michael Jackson’s songs—it was 10 minutes long, enough time for me to pack up my CDs.

By 6:00am I was pulling out of Steven’s driveway. The street outside was still full of people waiting in line to see FPJ. My god, what a circus.

Got home at 7:30am and couldn’t get to sleep until 9am. 2 hrs later I was awake again, and ready to drive to Calamba. It seems most people also partied hard the night before because traffic was quite light. In fact I encountered no traffic until I reached Calamba!

Finally met Ipe’s hubby, Eddie. They said Eddie is the twin sister of Nelz; actually I didn’t quite agree when I first met him. But then he hitched a ride with me going back to Manila; in the car we talked and talked. That’s when I realized he talked like Nelz; same inflection, same cadence, the way he paused and phrased his sentences. No wonder it was easy for people to think they’re twins; if they had the same hairstyle too, the similarities will be uncanny.

By evening I was feeling frisky, so I dropped by the bath house for a quickie. Afterwards I dropped by Megamall and got me a new toy, with a little help from Leigh. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Nik!


MONDAY

I decided to take Nik for a spin during out division Christmas party on the rooftop of Stone House Inn along E. Rodriguez Monday night. In total fairness, I like him! He’s a lot more compact than the late Ollie (boo-hoo-hoo!) and has many same features as Ollie. Nik has less megapixels than Ollie, but hey, I don’t think I really need all that pixels. Here are some pics from Niks. (Naks!)


Now you see her…
…now you don’t!


Wheee! Great night shots!

Cebu-laga!

Christmas is coming, and I’ve already put up the tree and installed the lights. But my mom wants more lights to be placed at our garage (“Madilim pala ang bahay natin sa labas!” sabi niya.) And she wants a parol too. For several years now we’ve done without a parol for Christmas, but I think mom wants the whole caboodle since we’re spending it here instead of in Baguio (two years ago) or Bohol (last year).

But after Christmas my mom, my sister, younger brother and I are flying to Cebu and Bohol. We’ll spend the New Year in either one of those places (plans are still being arranged). If we want a quiet New Year, we’ll stay in our little quiet town of Bilar. If we want noise and merry making, we’ll stay with my titas in their suburban home in Cebu.

I’ve never really gone around Cebu. We’d usually just go from pier to airport. This time I have a chance to see the Queen City of South up close. Maybe I’ll also have a chance to get to know the queens of the Queen City up close too, who knows? Wink, wink!

Ay bahala na. Kasama sina mama at mga kapatid. Baka wala akong pagkakataon mag-eskaflu at gumala-gala sa siyudad. Whatever.

Damn. Now I really miss Ollie (my digital camera)!

The Mallification Of Cubao

The new Gateway Mall in Araneta Center, Cubao is a fascinating place. It looks like a Makati mall plopped in the middle of Cubao. It’s a very high-end looking mall with high-end shops and restaurants (it even houses the first branch of the returning Taco Bell here in the Philippines.) And its Cineplex is amazing—they boast of having Lay-Z Boy type of seats. (But to date only four out of ten cinemas are open.)

What’s more, they’ve incorporated the one and only Araneta Coliseum into the Gateway Mall—think of it as building a mall around the coliseum. When they’re finished it will look like they made a coliseum within the mall, not the other way around.

But while the setting is Makati, the people are very Cubao. And that incongruity takes a bit getting used to.

Perhaps the Aranetas of this world were thinking, “Why should the Ayalas and the Gokongweis have all the fun—and malls?” I wonder if the tres chichi-rich of the San Juan villages and the hoity-toity of the Cubao and Katipunan areas will make Gateway their playground? So far it’s very convenient for the LRT- and MRT-riding crowd, which is the hoi polloi crowd. But with the expanded Rustan’s there, plus the Italianni’s and Burgoo’s and the Naf Naf’s and the Coffee Bean and Tea Leafs of this world opening soon, perhaps Gateway will serve as the gateway for the rich to come back to good old Cubao.

Will the bakal boyz of Cubao return too? Will they change their packaging (meaning, their outfits) to adjust to a more high-end crowd? We’ll see.

“I hada (pause) now I’m back for more…”

Orlando is now in the casa, his right front door being repaired. Plus I’m having a car alarm installed too—and an expensive one at that. (Sigh.) So maybe the next time some f**k tries to get inside Orlando, he’ll screech and scream like a parlorista crying, “Rape! Rape!”

That means I’ll be taking public transport going home today. Wow, it has been a while since I last rode the FX. I had to ask my sister how much the fare costs. And then I’ll be walking the streets of, gasp! Cubao for the first time in a long time.

Welcome back to my old haunts of my bygone hada days.

Occupational Hazard

Reading someone else’s blog re being in-or-out in the workplace, I can’t help but flashback on my early days of employment.

It was only during 4th year college that I came out to a few of my friends—well, actually just two of them. That’s how cautious I was. So in my first job at the Cultural Center of the Philippines, I decided I won’t tell my co-workers about my sexual preference. After all, why should that matter, right?

The CCP was an artistic and creative environment that’s very tolerant, nay, supportive of gays in the workplace. Our artistic director, VP for performing arts, director for theater arts, resident production designer, plus numerous artists were all proudly out (though the higher their position, the more discreet they act in front of the general public.) It was quite ironic then that I chose to be pa-mysterious in such a work environment. I remember when someone asked me why I didn’t have a girlfriend I replied I haven’t found her yet. I eventually found it tiring to always be on guard and on my toes. I got to be most of me, but part of me was always an act, a façade.

After CCP I joined a radio station. There I chose to tell my co-workers about the real me. I didn’t want the hassle of having to be on guard at all times. Thank goodness even though most of my co-workers were straight-as-rod heteros, they were very tolerant of me.

By the time I joined advertising, I made a conscious decision to be honest and “out” even with our clients. That meant if my female client said, “Ay ang cute nung male talent!” I wouldn’t hesitate to say, “Oo nga!” That meant I was free to inject the words “bongga” and “wagi” during client presentations. That meant clients thought I was uber-creative even though I was just average (hey, why not use their bias to my advantage: “gay” equals “creative/artistic”!)

Of course I was lucky to be placed in industries and companies that are creative and (to a certain degree) gay-tolerant. That is why I’ll avoid working in a bank, the military and in government for as long as I can, even though there are many pink sisters in those places.

Patay na Poe

“Actor and former presidential candidate Fernando Poe Jr., dubbed as ‘the king’ of Philippine cinema, is dead. He was 65 years old. Poe succumbed to ‘severe brain attack stroke’ after being in a comatose condition since Saturday night.”
(DZMM/abs-cbnNEWS.com)

Da King is dead. Presidential aspirations from unqualified showbiz personalities should also be put to rest.

Some Music News

I’m a snob when it comes to music. I grew up listening to American Top 40, so I wasn’t really into pinoy pop music. What little I know was due to the prevalence of Metropop tunes. When the Eraserheads entered the scene, I bought my first local CD.

Recently I heard a song which I never thought I’d like—it was a ballad, and it was sung by a local artist. But then I found out that it was composed by Diane Warren, the one-woman equivalent of a musical smart-bomb: you’ll surely get a hit with her songs. The singer is Nina, and the song is I Don’t Want To Be Your Friend.

“You take it casually, and that’s what’s killing me....
I’ll get by just fine,
So if you’re goin’ then darlin’ goodbye, goodbye.

Don’t call me in the middle of the night no more,
Don’t expect me to be there.
Don’t think that it will be the way it was before—
and I don’t think I care.
I’m not over you yet;
And I don’t want to be your friend.”

Apparently Cyndi Lauper recorded this song way before but never released it as a single. Although the song is very blatant and straight-forward, the truth behind the words ring oh so true and cannot be ignored. So what if there’s no subtlety? That song brings back memories of my unrequited love days. Or weeks. No, months. (And for one particular guy, years. Sigh.)

The music video is god-awful; Nina looks like a Pinay chimay version of Mariah Carey at her most maid-like incarnation. But the song is now lodged in my brain.

But that’s not the only song I’m tripping on these days. There’s Kylie Minogue’s I Believe In You, Snoop Dogg (featuring Pharrell Williams) with Drop It Like It’s Hot (the clik-cloking of the tongue is the song’s great hook), and Ciara (featuring Missy Elliot) with One, Two Step (“This beat is—automatic, supersonic, hypotic, funky fresh….” Indeed! This beat is technotronic.)

Oh, and U2’s latest album, How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb is a solid, listenable rock album that belies the ages of these geezers. I especially like the ballad Sometimes You Can’t Make It On Your Own, a throwback to the old U2 “slow build-up” songs of their War and The Joshua Tree days. These guys can still rock.

Coma Dose

Now I’m doubly glad FPJ lost in the last elections. By now we’ll have a crisis in government and a pashmina-wearing hawk for a president.

I bet Loren is thinking, “I could’ve been president!” by now.

Mommy Dearest

Oh yeah, my mom’s okay now after a whole morning of her blood pressure going up and down inexplicably. Most of the people I talked to say she’s thinking of something, something that is causing her distress.

Well, it was my dad’s birthday last Dec. 4. It is her first time to celebrate his birthday without him. It is our first Christmas without him. It is our first New Year without him. And when we fly to Bohol between Christmas and New Year, it is the first time we’ll be going to our home province without him.

People have advised me that we should make sure my mom is never alone in the house. Oh great; most of the time she’s alone at home with only our maid with her. This holiday season I’m going to ask my brother to let my nephew and niece vacation at our home.

Years ago I realized I may have to take care of my parents when they grow old and retire. At that time I was resistant to the idea—heck, I don’t want to end up being a caregiver. But now this is my reality, and I’m not too opposed to the idea anymore. I just wish though that someone can always be with my mom so she can be busy.

Maybe I should push her to accept her cousin’s invitation to run for mayor in our hometown in Bohol. Now that would really drive her—and our—blood pressure way up!

Testing, Please

Today I took the company-issued physical exams for its employees. I’ve always taken advantage of these company-subsidized events because, hey, it’s free! The tests include x-ray, blood test, blood pressure, pulse rate, vision tests; plus we’re required to submit urine and stool samples. In the announcement they said the stool sample is needed to check for “occult blood.” What in heaven’s name is an “occult blood”?

I found it easy to comply with all the tests except for one: giving a stool sample. How does one get a sample into this plastic cup they provided? Does one take a dump on the floor and scoop the poop into the cup? Does one hold the cup underneath one’s ass while taking a dump? Ewww!

Some things I found out: my blood pressure is normal, I have blood type A, I still have 20/20 vision but I’m definitely color-blind—not total, but just with particular colors. I’ll find out in a few days the results of the x-ray, the ECG test and the urinalysis.

2046

Last night I watched Wong Kar-wai’s 2046. It’s gorgeous to look at, with beautiful actors and actresses, exquisite cinematography and stylishly designed. If Hero was movie-making by way of textile, 2046 is a movie held up by figure-fitting chiongsams. Unfortunately for those with ADD this movie is stately paced. Most movies are like plot-based novels; Wong Kar-wai’s are like poems. The theme is revisited again and again, obliquely stated and never pounded on your head. It took me more than an hour before I realized the full implications of a statement said at the opening credits.

Warning: this movie is not for everybody. It may test the patience of those weaned on blink-and-you’ll-miss-it editing. Many things are communicated in between pauses, stares and silences. While most movies go on a straight line, this one spirals around its central theme, expounding and adding on to it scene by scene.

Watch it only if you’re in the mood to pay full attention to this demanding movie.

And Now Internet Cafe Humor

Overheard two kids talking. One is in school uniform, the other in casual wear and busy killing off whatever creatures there were in some computer game.

Uniform: “Wala ka bang pasok?”

Casual: “Mass comm ako ngayon.”

Uniform: “Mass comm?”

Casual: “Mas komportable sa bahay!”

* padum-dum! *

Hospital Humor

Depeche Mode was right; God does have a sick sense of humor. (In a deep booming celestial voice) “Can’t find anything to blog eh, McVie?” He said.

So this morning my mom woke me up really early and asked me to bring her pronto to St. Luke’s. Her blood pressure had been steadily increasing that morning and now she was dizzy.

So we went to the ER where she was placed under observation, her blood pressure taken every half hour. It was fluctuating up and down, ping-ponging between too high and too low. My mom fell asleep, so I decided to shut my eyes too. Above the usual noise and bustle in the ER I could hear the public address system.

“Pedia resident, phone call.”

“Dr. Reyes, to the nurses’ station pls.”

“X-ray Ted, phone call, billings section pls.”

That woke me up. There’s an x-rated phone call in the billings section of St. Luke’s? At 9:30 in the morning?

It took me a full second more to realize exactly what I just heard.

Sigh. I decided to go out and look for the nearest internet café.

Fishing And Wishing

Meanwhile I found out that my current object of lust, Brent Javier, is a fellow Piscean like me. Which of course does not guarantee in any way that we’d hit it off if we meet—er, if we ever meet, that is—nor does it mean I can be as sexy-yummy as he. Rumors say he’s the current boyfriend of Papa Piolo. Between Brent and Piolo—why not?! Wish ko lang.

Unfunny

It has been several days after that happy-yet-depressing Tagaytay weekend, and I’m still not my usual self. For days now I’ve stared at the computer, my mind blank, can’t think of anything hilarious or even mildly funny to talk about. And there’s nothing to rant or rave either.

Have I lost my inner funny? Did I break my funny bone? In the office I’m still joking around, benta pa rin ang mga patawa ko. But I go on-line and I’m stumped. Phillip is so funny, I get jealous reading his blog.

Worse, I’ve been celibate for several days now. I my membership cards to CB and F were in my wallet when it was stolen. Gosh! I haven’t had sex in more than two weeks! It’s making me grumpy. (And masturbating in the shower after gym doesn’t count either. It’s just a stop-gap measure.)

And for the past one-and-a-half weeks I’ve been very busy with work. I spearheaded the latest Comedy Christmas Station ID which started airing yesterday. Two weeks ago my client asked us to come up with concepts for a station ID for the network’s comedy stars. In a whirlwind of activity, we were able to brainstorm, conceptualize, make a total promo plan, shoot and post-produce a 1 minute and 42 seconds long station ID. (If you watch any of our comedy shows, you’ll catch it there. “Tumwawa’t ituloy natin ang Pasko!” is its message.) How ironic that our SID is fun to watch, yet it was conceptualized and produced by someone who seems to have lost his sense of humor.

Sigh. It looks like my boner is connected to my funny bone. All work and no sex make McVie a dull and unfunny boy.

Chicken Tales

Today Dec. 4 is my late dad’s birthday. The family has decided to have lunch at Max’s in Scout Tuazon, QC. It’s the “main branch” of Max’s, one that the family has been going to every time there was a special family occasion—birthday, christening, graduation. When we were growing up, it wasn’t a celebration if it wasn’t in Max’s.

As a kid, I was fascinated looking at the colorful carps and other fishes swimming in their fishponds all throughout the restaurant. I was always amazed at the different areas throughout the restaurant—the open-air pavilions, the air-conditioned function rooms, the gardens all around.

Grade school, high school, and college—every graduation, I celebrated it in Max’s. All birthday celebrations were held in Max’s—until my parents realized that celebrating everyone’s birthday in Max’s was turning out to be a very expensive treat. So after a while we’d just have a family dinner at home, with Ligaya’s fried chicken.

Ligaya’s was one of two restaurants found only in Marikina with fried chicken as their specialty. The other was the more popular Johnny’s Fried Chicken (with the tagline, “The Fried of Marikina”). But we never really liked the taste of Johnny’s so we often ordered Ligaya’s instead. (Personally I think the cheesy tagline had a negative effect on us too.)

When Kentucky Fried Chicken first opened in the Philippines, we marveled at the huge sizes of their chicken pieces. Soon Ligaya’s was forced to close shop; Johnny’s though is still around. Kentucky Fried Chicken changed their moniker to the abbreviated KFC, but it wasn’t just their name that got smaller—so did their chicken pieces.

When the lechon manok craze hit the country, we favored Andok’s. But after a while we got tired of the taste and switched to their liempo instead. Kenny Rogers a so-so hit for the family—one can say he failed to enter our family gastronomy charts.

So many fried chicken houses, so many birds slaughtered. I hope there’s no bird flu anymore.

The Calm Before The Storm

It is now 7:11 in the evening as I’m typing this, and the storm outside is still gathering its strength. There is rain, but not yet pouring. The wind is not yet howling. So far things are still calm.

I’m in the office; there’s a break in our shooting. With the business I’m in, the show must go on. Anyway, it’s just a studio shoot so we’re safe inside even if the storm rages outside. We’ll be in deep shit (and water) if we finish late tonight and the storm is in full blast. That’s why I’m praying that our stars cooperate so we can finish as soon as possible.

Because it looks like tomorrow work will be suspended, I’ve borrowed the DVD of the whole season of Lovers In Paris, the Korean soap opera that’s now the talk-of-the-town among regular evening soap opera viewers. I don’t think it’ll reach Meteor Garden levels, but this soap opera is still a phenomena of sorts. Nobody expected it to reach the kind of ratings it is getting these days. It’s really another Cinderella/Pretty Woman tale, but the quirky casting, engaging performances, and zippy pacing makes this soap opera irresistible to watch.

So this long weekend I’ll be watching a Korean soap while outside Yoyong rages on.

Meanwhile, Nelz has left the country to be with the love of his life, Norman, in Canada. Godspeed, Nelz.

As he’s leaving, Yoyong’s coming into the country.