When It Rains, It Bores (Enough Is Enough)

It’s raining, it’s pouring, my love life is boring me to tears, after all these years.

Outside the rain is pouring and that song is playing in my head. But my love life is actually not boring; it’s non-existent. Romantic love, that is. All the other forms of love (familial, agape, fraternal, etc.) are in full swing, thank you very much. As for the greatest love of all—well, I jack off almost every morning at the gym shower, does that count?

There are days when I wonder if my heart still functions. Not the supplying-blood-to-the-brain kind of function; I mean the falling-in-love function.

Recent events proved to me that I am still capable of falling head-over-heels. Actually it’s easy to be attracted to guys; it’s more difficult to be attractive to other guys. In the past it was always me falling for someone. Only once did someone fall for me; it was a heady experience.

But more and more I realize that this sort of sudden attraction, whether from me or from another, is often a fatal attraction. If one or both parties are intensely attracted to the other, then their actions would be of a heightened, unnatural kind. With attraction a person will put his best foot forward; or will pretend to be dedma to his object of desire. It would be near impossible to act normally in front of him; how can you, when the mere sight of him turns your knees to jelly? Thus instead of him getting to know the real you, you’ve placed another layer for him to peel off.

I always dreamed I’d find the perfect lover. But he turned out to be like every other man that I loved.

So now I’m more wary of instant attraction. But how do I proceed then? More and more I’ve been using the line: “Let’s be friends first.” But that line is so loaded with other meanings, like “Oh, he’s not interested in me” or “I’m not good enough for him!” that it becomes a turn off. Maybe I should use the line: “Let’s just get to know each other more.” But that is so slum-bookish. Maybe I should not look for romance and let it just hit me on the head one day. But heck, I’ve been doing that since, heck I forget already. And when he did hit me on the head, I realized I did not necessarily want to hit him back.

No sunshine, no moonlight, no stardust, no sign of romance; we don't stand a chance.

The rain is steadily increasing. Traffic in front of the office is getting heavier. As the water rises, traffic crawls to a halt and tempers shorten. It’s going to be one wet hell out there. But here I am safely inside an artificial environment, slaving away to entertain the masses.

Meanwhile around me people continue to make a mess of their lives falling in and out of love. And I’m here blogging away merrily at The McVie Show.

And we won’t waste another tear.