A Fairy Tale

Finally saw the movie Eating Out at the Pink Film Festival in SM Manila.

Eating Out is truly a fairy tale, with “fairy” raised to the second power. It is a gay fantasy, complete with “and they lived happily ever after.”

Gay Guy A and Straight Guy are roommates. Gay Guy A has the hots for Gay Guy B, who has a roommate, Straight Girl. She also happens to be the ex-girlfriend of Gay Guy B; she has a thing for gay guys. Straight Guy falls for Straight Girl; to get her attention he pretends to be gay. Unfortunately Gay Guy B falls for Straight Guy-who’s-pretending-to-be-gay.

Confused? Don’t worry, it’s actually very clear in the movie. It is written and directed by the nephew of the late Lino Brocka, but it seems his lineage is more James Burrows than Brocka. The movie feels like an episode in Frasier or Friends, two sitcoms shepherded by Burrows.

To complicate things further, Straight Girl chastises Gay Guy A for running after Gay Guy B when he knows that Gay Guy B will never go for him. “You’re way out of his league,” Straight Girl tells Gay Guy A. She of course is referring to the looks department.

Of course in the end the gays end up with each other as do the straights. Gay Guy B decides to give Gay Guy A a chance. The movie ends with the two pairs both in liplock. Sigh. Only in the movies!

Truth is the movie isn’t really great. The plot is too sitcom-ish, the set-up too coincidental. But the two lead actors are gorgeous hunks! They both have flawless skin, muscular torsos and washboard abs, and have no qualms about doing frontal nudity. They’re like porn stars who have better acting skills than their contemporaries. Or maybe not. Maybe that’s just my bias: put drool-inducing hunks on screen and I get involved in whatever it is they’re portraying on screen. Hello eye candy, goodbye critical eye!

So Lino’s nephew knows how to direct. Or at least he knows how to cast great-looking male leads. (The female lead is best described as “quirky.”) And he showed directorial flair in staging a scene where Straight Girl is on the phone with Straight Guy, coaxing him while Gay Guy B gives him his first gay blow job.

His movie is miles away from Maynila: Sa Kuko Ng Liwanag; his is right smack down Sunset Boulevard. His movie is pure Hollywood fantasy.