“Love Spelled Backwards Is E-V-O-L!”

If I can have any role I want, I’d love to play a villain, preferably a Disney villain. Villains have all the fun… and the great lines to boot. They can chew the whole scenery and spit out the most delicious zingers, comebacks and quips.

Sure, most budding badings secretly wish they’re Ariel, but it’s Ursula who steals Triton’s crown and most of The Little Mermaid. The supporting animals in The Lion King are hilarious, but no one gets to slink so slyly like Scar. And Hell hath no fury—and funny—like Hades in Hercules.

My two most favorite movie villains are played by the same actor. Alan Rickman was Hans Gruber in Die Hard and the evil Sheriff of Nottingham in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. In the former, his lightning-quick switch from international thief to role-playing “hostage” is a delight to behold; he delivers his lines as if he’s always gnashing his teeth. In the latter, he steals most of the movie from Kevin Costner’s Prince of Thieves by gobbling up whole scenes.

I love playing villains because they allow me to let loose the devil inside. Revenge can be sweet yet sugar-free; it’s sin without guilt. Because in reality God or karma keeps an evil-calorie count and I have to exercise restraint.

So once in a while allow me to have my evil thoughts and fiendish musings. I’m just pigging out without paying for it.