I Miss U Much! (Oh, I Miss U Much!)

There are times when I feel so butch, like when I’m changing a flat tire or when I go gaga inside a hardware store. Or when I come in for work, see that our office TV monitors are on RPN-9 (we only monitor our channel and the competitor), ask “What’s on?” and is told incredulously, “You mean you don’t know?! It’s Miss Universe!”

Oh.

Unlike most gays I was never into beauty contests. The only beau-cons I was interested in were local gay beauty contests… and only because of their hilarious Q-&-A portions (“If you had a choice, what would you choose for our country—El Niño or La Niña?”) The idea of statuesque beauties parading their feminine glory does not appeal to me at all. The last time I tuned in to a Miss U contest, Miriam Quiambao’s spectacular comeback from a pratfall earned her a shot at the crown.

Well… we just found out that Miss Philippines failed to make it to the semi-finals. So now our monitors are back to local programming.