Thursday, October 14, 2004

Patay kang bata ka!

Why is it that in these local “reality star search” shows, when the young hopefuls are asked to show their acting prowess, most of them choose to act like they are dying? Why is death a popular act?

The “dying act” usually consists of the following stages. First, the hopefuls exclaim something desperate, like “Ayoko na!” or “Huwag! Huwag po! Aaaa!” or “Hindi ko na ito kaya!” or “Paalam na, Mama, Papa!” This is followed by a clutching of the throat or chest or the sides of the head. Then the coughing begins. Cough, cough, COUGH! The length of hacking depends on what the person is dying of: if it’s a disease, it’s longer; if it’s homicide, it’s short and swift. As they’re coughing, they crumple on the floor. And then they lie still.

To quote OMC in their 1997 hit: How bizarre! How bizarre, how bizarre!

Ooh baby, it’s driving me crazy. Every time I see some showbiz-wannabe hopeful doing the dying act, I want to tell them: Patay kang bata ka!